Winterizing the Pig

Hubert, I discovered, doesn't like snow--he thinks he's going to sink into it. He also doesn't like slippery surfaces like ice-covered sidewalks--he hates it when he slides. It's related to his dislike of hills or slopes. Hubert is a pig who enjoys his low center of gravity and anything that threatens that joy soon becomes an object of scorn.

During a particularly nasty climate in NJ, Hubert had the hardest time leaving the basement to venture out to the yard to poop. I finally had to entice him with dried apricots onto the patio. He normally avails himself of the lawn but, being that it was snow-covered, he would not go there. Still, no pooping. Then I saw him trying to dig into the hard patio surface. I reasoned that he was looking for evidence of earth. Apparently, that's there main criteria for suitable defecation surface. I got some of his old poop from the compost heap, added some dirt and threw it on the patio. Hubert then lifted up his tail because, for him, or was right with world. Prior to this episode, Hubert had used his own carpet to defecate. Why? Well, it was because the carpet had not been kept very clean of mud and the smell of dirt had triggered Hubert's release of poop.

Concerning brushing, VPB pigs definitely need it to get rid of large skin flakes that stick to their hair with a tenacious static electricity. This year, we're looking into the possibility of buying skin conditioner by the gallon. Speaking of hair, Hubert is growing the most splendid "Mohawk" atop his head. His hair has grown to a length of 3 inches over most of his body.

Hubert chilling in the Fall.

This is Hubert taking his daily walk with me. His tail it not up in the air which means he's not fertilizing the bush. I don't know if it's intentional but Hubert has a preference for plants. It's almost as if he knows that if he does for them (the plants) they'll do for him (berries, leaves).

As you can see, he's kind of exotic looking--very Asian eyes.

He's become very tolerant of Abby, one of our two dogs, but he still gets upset if Abby tries to come into his "room" where he sleeps.
The weather is getting colder. It's now nearly December but the cold days that we've had do not seem to bother Hubert. He still ventures into the yard and will chill underneath his favorite table if the Sun is shining. I think his black coat keeps him somewhat warm. We'll see what the Winter holds for his majesty.

Green Pig

Hubert is a jealous pig. I've noted that if he and I are alone, he grunts little. If I start talking with someone else in the family, Hubert will start to "complain" by grunting loudly. I seems he requires the undivided attention or loyalty of his most immediate "family" member [perhaps the one who feeds him]. I like to think that he is just "joining in" the conversation.

Hubert has a love for company. Yesterday, I invited some neighborhood girls to pet Hubert. They enjoyed him as they would have enjoyed a puppy. Today, Hubert remembered the petting and took off for the front of the house where we had first encountered the girls (he never goes there unless I lead him there). After a bit of waiting where no one showed up, Hubert returned to the back of the house but not before trying to taste the mortar that I had just used to repair some cracks. Luckily for me, he listens to me when I call out, "HUBERT." Interestingly, Hubert always listens to me when I speak to him; but if I should physically try to move him, he complains loudly before finally acquiescing.

If I have time, I'll try to record his many grunts to see if I can garner any meaning.

I promised to talk about Hubert's excrement (aren't blogs great?). As I told you earlier, Hubert plops down some real doozies. But they are great for seeding grass. I mix the poop with water, soil, and seeds. I then spread it around bald spots. If I keep it watered, seeds sprout in 3 days.

By the way, pig manure stops smelling within seconds of landing on the ground. Within minutes, it can be scooped up without any of it sticking to the tools (I use a hoe and shovel). I maintain a compost heap of sorts. When the turds come in, I cut them up with a straight hoe so that they decompose more efficiently. I'll mix them with soil which I water and turn over every two days or so.

This blog is about Hubert, the Vietnamese pot-bellied pig, but I'd like to tell you that I found the flies interesting. I've noted two different species, the common house fly and a red, elongated fly. If the red flies are on the turd, the house flies stay away and vice-versa. The flies stay on the turd only for a few minutes. When the turd dries out the flies take off but they will return if you re-wet the manure.

As concerns Hubert's lovability factor, let me tell you about my 15 year-old daughter. She had acted like she didn't like Hubert because of the way he treated our Pit Bull mix terrier, Abbey. My daughter and I argued good-naturedly about Hubert and she, at times, had me convinced that she didn't care that much for Hubert. Today, however, I caught her hugging Hubert as he lay on the ground; it almost seemed as if she were apologizing to him for "being mean to him." No one who knows him can hate him.

However, the following caveat applies: If you are doing any yard work, Hubert must, if it's not a hot sunny day, be in the thick of things. He will come over to you when you are working and ask if you are foraging. Because foraging in the yard is the only activity he understands; what else would you be doing there? He will come over and sniff around and stay there until he figures out that there is nothing to be gained by lingering. If he determines that you offer nothing to eat, he will head for the nearest shade.

These pigs do not sweat and must be near a heat sink at all times. The purpose of the mud bath is to cool their bellies down. He is so consistent with his shade requirements that I think he might explode if left in the Sun.

Yesterday I discovered that Hubert would rather drink from a leaking hose then drink from his stainless steel bowl that is filled with the same water. Go figure!

Hubert GentleGuy

Grandpa has been barricading his tomatoes against Hubert but the truth is he is turning our yard into a third world country shanty town and, all for naught, because Hubert only goes into the yard when I let him in and he is quite the obedient pig. All I have to do is call out his name and he steers away from the tomatoes. Of course, if there is a tomato leaf sticking out, he's quick to grab a bite. He also likes dandelions but only those hand-picked by my neighbor Juan. Today, I discovered that he likes crabgrass. There are several other plants around the yard that he nibbles at. Junk food includes: pizza crusts, maple syrup, soy nuts, peanuts.

For some reason, although he has a sweet tooth, he will not eat watermelon, sweet peppers, and mangoes. My theory is that avoidance of brightly-colored food enables him to stay away from poisonous mushrooms such as may be found in the jungles of his native Vietnam.

Speaking of jungles, Hubert hates the Sun. He will seek shade wherever he can find it. He loves to plop down on a cold concrete floor and, in the yard, he'll dig up a swath of grass only to plop his belly on the humid earth. I think perhaps his intestines tend to overheat with all the digesting biomass there.

When it comes to defecation, Hubert has a human characteristic in that he prefers to do it hidden from view. Oh sure, he'll output some dastardly torpedoes but when he's alone, he'll seek to do it behind some object. It's almost as if he feels vulnerable when he's alone and seeks protection. When he's with me, he'll drop one wherever he happens to be (I'm not taking offense at this).

We are starting to develop a routine. When he hears that I'm in the yard he'll come out and ask if I have any food for him--I almost always do. We then take a walk around our yard. Sometimes he leads; sometimes I do. At one or two places in our walk he'll nudge my leg and roll over on his side. It's belly scratching time. His belly is soft and I gently scratch him there; but when it comes to his hide, it's rhinoceros-like and for this I use an old saw that I gently drag across his backside. On the way back from the yard, I tell him to go inside (he lives in the basement with my two twin boys--one of whom is Hubert's owner) and he and I part company until next time.

Next time, I'll discuss pig manure.

Hubert Porkroll gets a pen.

We had to do it. Hubert took a fancy to our entire yard as his toilet. So, I built him a pen and enticed him into going in it with some nuts (I found out that VPBP's do not like to munch on food hidden within blades of grass preferring to eat what's underneath the root ball. They will, however, find the smallest morsel on flat ground).

Now, Hubert has his private toilet which he likes, and I'm trying to convince Grandpa that pig manure might just be as good as horse or cow for his tomatoes. He says he's afraid and if you saw Hubert you would understand why. Darn pig looks like a demon when he stares at you and only looks pigglely when you lay on the ground and view him from the bottom up. His other end is a tale in itself. How a 3 inch turd can effortlessly make its way thought such a tiny hole is beyond me. I only wish I could embarrass my own hole into opening up for those moments when I get off my vegetarian diet.

Hubert's manners are developing well. He now knows through a series of fancy maneuvers on my part that biting my foot to tell me he's hungry is not appreciated and now lifts up my sneaker and puts it in his mouth without chowing down on it (remember what Hanibal the Cannibal said about pigs and how they could crunch bone with their teeth? I believe it just to look at his massive masseters that endear him to us by making him look chubby and friendly--which he is.