Hubert Porkroll gets a pen.

We had to do it. Hubert took a fancy to our entire yard as his toilet. So, I built him a pen and enticed him into going in it with some nuts (I found out that VPBP's do not like to munch on food hidden within blades of grass preferring to eat what's underneath the root ball. They will, however, find the smallest morsel on flat ground).

Now, Hubert has his private toilet which he likes, and I'm trying to convince Grandpa that pig manure might just be as good as horse or cow for his tomatoes. He says he's afraid and if you saw Hubert you would understand why. Darn pig looks like a demon when he stares at you and only looks pigglely when you lay on the ground and view him from the bottom up. His other end is a tale in itself. How a 3 inch turd can effortlessly make its way thought such a tiny hole is beyond me. I only wish I could embarrass my own hole into opening up for those moments when I get off my vegetarian diet.

Hubert's manners are developing well. He now knows through a series of fancy maneuvers on my part that biting my foot to tell me he's hungry is not appreciated and now lifts up my sneaker and puts it in his mouth without chowing down on it (remember what Hanibal the Cannibal said about pigs and how they could crunch bone with their teeth? I believe it just to look at his massive masseters that endear him to us by making him look chubby and friendly--which he is.